In today's fast-paced and often uncertain world, I've recently come to be reminded that the importance of kindness and compassion cannot be overstated. Drawing from my own observations, discussions, and a plethora of shared experiences from both friends and strangers, it's evident that we are collectively navigating through particularly challenging times.
Recently on Facebook, I posted a status capturing a prevailing mood of exhaustion and the deep-seated need for more kindness, support, and love:
“Y’all, honestly, I’m just exhausted. Life has been doing its damnedest lately, and ya girl has been going through it. But I know I’m not alone in this, and that’s helped to carry me through. The collective has been heavy-hearted, and just about everyone I know feels burnt out and overwhelmed by life. There’s so much darkness and pain in the world right now—people are just looking around searching for peace, purpose, understanding. Doing their best just to make it through the days as they come. Why add to the hurt and hate? Just treat people with kindness, love, warmth. We could all use more compassion. Hold people a little closer, listen to people with intention, make space for people to show up in their imperfections, tell people you love them, just because. And for the love of all that is good, just be gentle with human beings. I don’t know bout y’all, but I don’t have the time or energy to stomach anything else; it’s rough enough out here as it is.”
In March of 2023, I faced the unexpected loss of my grandmother. Her passing, which came after weeks of her being in and out of hospitals, and her staying with my parents who housed her while dealing with her rapidly declining dementia, left a profound impact on me and my family, especially my mother. The months that followed were a testament to the complexity of grief mixed with life's continuous demands.
On one side, there was the forward momentum of life, urging me to continue pursuing my goals and to find pride in my achievements. Yet, this push towards normalcy was in stark conflict with the deep sense of loss that enveloped me, making every attempt at progress feel overshadowed by guilt. The act of celebrating successes or simply engaging in daily routines felt almost like a betrayal to the grief that demanded my full attention.
This internal conflict was exacerbated by an intense surge in my anxiety, reaching levels that transformed even the simplest tasks into daunting challenges. And while I did a good job at masking it, the depression that accompanied my grief was making me feel estranged from myself, as if the person I had grown to love had become unreachable, lost in a fog of sorrow and anxiety.
This experience, part of the broader challenges of 2023, was just one aspect of a year filled with unexpected difficulties that tested my character, faith, and spirit. It was through the support, kindness, and compassion of both loved ones and strangers that I found the strength to navigate through this difficult period. It was the care and support of loving family, loyal friends and good colleagues truly shone through, providing an unwavering foundation of understanding and compassion that was crucial to getting through each day. Their unwavering presence and encouragement were instrumental in helping me remember something I so frequently preached to others; that grief and joy could coexist; that moving forward didn't mean leaving my grandmother’s memory behind.
Overall, this journey taught me about the non-linear nature of healing and the possibility of carrying both love for someone lost and hope for the days ahead, and the support from those around me not only helped me navigate the complexities of my emotions but also played a pivotal role in rediscovering my sense of self amidst the turmoil.
The importance of having supportive individuals in our lives is essential. It's beneficial to have people who can remind us of our worth and progress, encourage us, guide us, support us, and believe in us. These individuals can provide encouragement during difficult times, offer guidance, believe in our potential, challenge us constructively, and help us recover from setbacks. By surrounding ourselves with such supportive people and being that source of support for others, we contribute to a cycle of positivity and change. This approach can significantly reshape our interactions and the environment around us, emphasizing the power of kindness and compassion in our professional and personal lives.
Reflecting on 2023 as a whole, it's clear that it was not only my journey that was fraught with challenges. Many people I know, or have heard stories from, also faced some of their greatest personal turmoils during this time. Yet, the most encouraging part of hearing about these experiences was witnessing how many people were turning their pain into something powerful and moving. The kindness of others played a crucial role in all of us collectively surviving these difficulties, from financial support to words and acts of encouragement, to simply being there for a coffee and a listening ear. These acts of love and kindness, recounted and shared, despite heartache, illustrate the profound impact our actions can have, but there's another side to this story.
The context of these reflections is underscored by a disturbing rise in mental health issues and the pervasiveness of cyberbullying. The fact that 22.8% of U.S. adults were afflicted with mental illness in 2021, amounting to 57.8 million people, alongside the 5.5% grappling with serious mental illness, underscores the gravity of this crisis.
Expanding upon the overall impact, it's essential to note the broader spectrum of mental health statistics that paint an even more comprehensive picture of the crisis at hand. In 2016, 16.5% of U.S. youth aged 6-17 experienced a mental health disorder, equating to 7.7 million young individuals grappling with conditions that impact their day-to-day lives.
Furthermore, the co-occurrence of substance use disorder and mental illness in 2021 affected 7.6% of U.S. adults, representing 19.4 million people battling dual demons that compound their struggles. The numbers are stark, particularly when considering over 12 million U.S. adults maintained serious thoughts of suicide, highlighting a desperate need for intervention and support.
This scenario is further aggravated by the reality that 64% of American young adults have faced cyberbullying, with dire consequences such as a significantly higher likelihood of suicide attempts among middle school-aged victims. Additionally, the alarming statistic that 41% of US adults have encountered online harassment, a figure that has worryingly doubled since 2014, illustrating the significant toll that the pandemic has taken on our mental health, underscoring the critical need for accessible and effective care.
The pandemic has only intensified these challenges, with 1 in 5 U.S. adults reporting a significant negative impact on their mental health due to COVID-19. This underscores an urgent call to not only address but prioritize mental health care and support systems in our society. This urgency is heightened by undeniable correlations between the rise in mean words and actions, and the growing silent acceptance of bullying and harassment both in person and online.
Given these insights, it's clear that cultivating an environment of kindness and compassion is imperative, not just for individual well-being but for the collective health of our society. As we confront the challenges posed by mental health issues, cyberbullying, and the enduring effects of the pandemic, the critical role of kindness as a tool for healing and support becomes all the more apparent. In our daily lives, it's crucial to recognize the significant impact our words and actions have.
Creating a shift towards a more compassionate society involves remaining informed about the mental health implications of our words and actions, standing up against harassment whenever we encounter it, and intentionally cultivating kindness in our lives through our own daily interactions. This is not just about making a conscious choice to be kinder individuals but about collectively working towards a societal transformation where empathy, respect, and compassion are the norms rather than the exceptions.
Engaging in this transformative effort is essential for promoting mental wellness and creating an environment where everyone feels valued and supported, regardless of the challenges they may face. We have the power to influence those around us. Our words can uplift or harm, and our actions can provide support in an unstable world or contribute to its instability. Whether through simple acts of listening, offering words of encouragement, or more tangible forms of support, the influence of our kindness can indeed be life-saving.
Amidst this backdrop, the power of kindness and compassion are only emphasized. Personal anecdotes and the stories others have shared about how even the smallest acts of kindness from both loved ones and strangers have provided solace during their darkest periods affirm the deep impact our actions and words can have.
One line from a poem I wrote titled People to Keep Close deeply aligns with this topic, “Sometimes it’s a stranger that carries you through the most dreadful of days.”
Echoing this sentiment is another message of gratitude I’ve recently seen online, “Not to be sentimental, but thank you to everyone who has been nice to me this year. Even when I can’t say the right things, I appreciate you for making me feel loved. I needed it.”
Moreover, when discussing the transformative power of kindness, it is evident that its benefits extend far beyond emotional support. Research has shown that kindness can also significantly impact our physical and mental health. Engaging in acts of kindness not only improves mood and mental well-being but also has physiological benefits such as decreasing blood pressure and cortisol levels, a hormone directly correlated with stress.
This underscores the tangible effects of kindness on our overall health and longevity. Kindness fosters a sense of connection with others, decreases loneliness, and can quite literally be contagious, inspiring others to partake in generous and compassionate acts. It is also linked to increased levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and can even change your brain by boosting these levels. Such scientific insights highlight the profound and multifaceted impact of kindness on our lives.
While still over a month away, May, which is recognized as Mental Health Awareness Month, serves as an important reminder of the critical role mental health plays in our overall well-being. It's a time for each of us to ask ourselves how we can be a light of warmth, support, and compassion in a world that's already hurting. Let this upcoming May be a catalyst for change, encouraging us to deepen our understanding, extend our kindness, and offer a helping hand to those in need.
In writing this for Grice Connect, I hope to highlight the profound and transformative power of kindness in today's world. When facing the overwhelming challenges of modern life, we must not forget the importance of being kind to one another and to one's self. By doing so, we not only lighten the burdens of those around us but also contribute to creating a more compassionate, understanding, and supportive society. Let's all strive to leave a legacy of love, for in the end, how we treat people, the words we choose, and the support we offer can truly make all the difference.